If you recognize these 12 traits of a narcissist in your husband, this is your wake up call to action.
Marriage is meant to be a partnership built on mutual respect, love, and the shared goal of seeing each other thrive.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
(NPD) is a recognized mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. All are traits of a narcissist.
Statistics reveal that these traits of a narcissist are present in approximately 5% of the population, with many cases going undiagnosed.
In marriages where one partner is narcissistic, or exhibits the traits of a narcissist, the relationship dynamic often becomes skewed, with the narcissistic spouse exerting control, manipulating emotions, and undermining the other partner’s sense of self-worth.
In this article, we will explore the 12 telltale traits of a narcissistic spouse and examine the profound impact these traits can have on a marriage and on the children within that marriage. We’ll also provide insights into how to cope with a narcissistic partner and why it’s crucial to seek help when the relationship becomes unsustainable.
What are the Common Traits of a Narcissist in a Spouse?
There are common signs of a narcissistic spouse that you should be aware of. With this information, you can protect yourself from harmful individuals who do not truly care about you. Let’s take a closer look.
1. They are Manipulators
To start, narcissistic spouses are manipulators. They will engage in gaslighting as a way to dispel your issues and concerns. In addition, they will twist your words and make you feel like the bad guy.
2. They Isolate You From Friends and Family
Furthermore, they will try to limit your contact and communication with friends and family. Understandably, people who actually care about you will try to intervene and help. So, to prevent that, narcissists will try to stop you from seeing them.
3. They Do Not Value Your Feelings
Moreover, narcissists will never value your feelings, often ignoring your concerns. Any physical or emotional need you have will not be as important as theirs.
4. They Lower Your Self-Esteem
In addition, they will do their best to diminish your self-esteem. Narcissists will constantly belittle and undermine you. In turn, you will feel “grateful” that they chose to stay in a relationship with you.
5. They Always Make You Feel Worried or Nervous
Marriage with a narcissistic spouse can feel quite uneasy. Often, it can feel like walking on thin ice. Every small action can have big reactions and consequences. You may never feel completely comfortable when you are with them.
6. They Will Not Communicate
Narcissists do not have healthy communication styles. Instead of having meaningful conversations, they will start playing the “blame game.” Furthermore, they may try to elicit a reaction from you through criticism or insults.
Additional Traits of a Narcissist and How to Deal With Them in Your Spouse
Dealing with a narcissistic spouse can be quite difficult. However, it is still possible. First, your spouse must genuinely recognize their harmful traits and actively work to correct them. If not, there may be no point of reconciliation. Here are a few more traits to be aware of.
7. They Will Never Accept Responsibility
To continue, narcissists refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. In their minds, they can do and have done nothing wrong. This ties back to their propensity to play the victim.
8. They Always Put the Blame on You
In addition to not accepting responsibility, they cast the blame upon you. They will make you believe that everything is your fault.
9. They Will Give the Silent Treatment
Moreover, another terrible tactic narcissists implement is the silent treatment. They know that they have power. So, by refusing to speak, you are more likely to listen to them and fall under control.
10. There Are No Boundaries
Furthermore, narcissists do not have healthy boundaries. They do not want you to be an independent person with hobbies or interests.
11. They Are Never Happy
Typically, narcissists are never happy in a relationship. There is always something they are upset about, and it is your fault. This is another strategy they use to change your behavior and personality.
12. They Refuse to Fix or Change Their Behavior
Finally, a narcissistic spouse will refuse to change their ways. Regardless of your pleas, they continue to be the same person.
The Impact on Children of a Narcissist Male Parent
When a father exhibits narcissistic traits, the effects on his children can be profound and long-lasting. A narcissistic father’s behavior often extends beyond the marriage, deeply influencing his children’s emotional, psychological, and social development. Recognizing these effects is essential for protecting your children and helping them navigate the challenges they may face.
1. Emotional Instability
Children with a narcissistic father often experience emotional instability. A narcissistic father may shift unpredictably between harsh criticism and superficial praise, depending on whether the child’s actions align with his own needs or image. This inconsistency can leave children feeling confused, anxious, and insecure, as they struggle to predict how their father will react to their behavior.
2. Erosion of Self-Worth
A narcissistic father may belittle or undermine his children’s achievements, making them feel as though they are never good enough. This constant erosion of self-worth can lead to long-term issues with self-esteem. Children may grow up feeling that they must constantly strive for perfection to gain their father’s approval, yet never truly feel satisfied with their efforts.
3. Fear of Rejection
The need to maintain control often drives a narcissistic father to use emotional manipulation, such as the threat of rejection or withdrawal of love, to keep his children in line. This fear of rejection can lead children to suppress their true feelings and desires, constantly molding themselves to fit their father’s expectations in an attempt to avoid his disapproval.
4. Development of Unhealthy Relationships
Children of narcissistic fathers may struggle to form healthy relationships later in life. They may be drawn to partners who exhibit similar controlling or manipulative behaviors, subconsciously replicating the dynamics they experienced with their father. Alternatively, they may become overly submissive or people-pleasing in relationships, fearing conflict or rejection.
5. Suppressed Emotions
A narcissistic father often prioritizes his own emotions and needs over those of his children. This can lead to children suppressing their own emotions, as they learn that expressing their feelings may be met with indifference, ridicule, or anger. Over time, this suppression can result in emotional numbness or difficulty in processing and expressing emotions in a healthy way.
6. Lack of Boundaries
A narcissistic father may disregard his children’s boundaries, seeing them as extensions of himself rather than individuals with their own needs and desires. This lack of respect for personal boundaries can teach children that their own limits are unimportant, making it difficult for them to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in their own lives.
7. Difficulty Trusting Others
Growing up with a narcissistic father who is manipulative and self-serving can make it hard for children to trust others. They may become hyper-vigilant in relationships, constantly on the lookout for signs of deceit or manipulation. This difficulty in trusting others can hinder their ability to form close, supportive relationships.
Protecting Your Children
If you are in a relationship with a narcissistic father, it is crucial to recognize these potential impacts on your children and take steps to protect them.
Encouraging open communication, providing emotional support, and ensuring that your children have access to therapy or counseling can help mitigate some of these effects.
In some cases, it may be necessary to limit or supervise the father’s interactions with the children to prevent further harm.
Learn More With Bruce PA
Unfortunately, there are times when a marriage becomes unsalvageable. After all, being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel taxing, to say the least. When this occurs, you should hire a divorce attorney.
Our team of lawyers at Bruce PA will always fight for you. For more information, contact us today or schedule a consultation. We look forward to working with you.
