Planning your Divorce: Dos and Don’ts

Introduction

Navigating a divorce with a controlling or manipulative husband can feel like fighting a blindfolded battle. Emotions run high, and without a clear vision for life after divorce, it’s easy to get off track.

At Bruce Law, we guide you step-by-step to ensure you focus on what truly matters—your future, your finances, and your children’s well-being. This post outlines essential dos and don’ts to help you stay on the right path and avoid unnecessary stress during the divorce process.

DO: Define Your Vision for Life After Divorce

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re never going to get there.”

The biggest mistake many people make is not setting clear goals for life post-divorce. Without this focus, you risk wasting time and money by getting distracted by unnecessary battles. Take the time to answer:

What do you want your life to look like in five years?
What are your priorities (e.g., financial stability, child custody, or peace of mind)?

Part of planning your divorce is having a clear vision will help you and your attorney determine the best strategy for achieving your goals.

DON’T: Get Lost in Endless Disputes

“There are so many different paths you can go down—focus on the best one that gets you to the light at the end of the tunnel.”

Controlling spouses often thrive on conflict. They may try to engage you in petty disputes over alimony, missed payments, or small details of the settlement. While it’s important to hold your ex accountable for what they owe, avoid the trap of endless re-engagement. Ask yourself:

Is this battle worth the emotional and financial cost?
Will it get you closer to your end goal?

Work with your attorney in planning your divorce to prioritize critical issues and let minor grievances go when possible.

DO: Get Organized and Untangle Your Finances

“If the financial aspects of your life feel like a messy web, you need a plan to untangle it.”

Controlling husbands often create financial chaos to maintain power. Before you begin the divorce process:

Gather all financial documents (bank statements, retirement accounts, and tax returns).
Work with your attorney to assess marital assets and liabilities.
Create a plan to ensure you receive what you’re entitled to.

Financial clarity empowers you to make strong decisions and prevents your ex from using money as a tool for manipulation.

DON’T: Let Emotions Drive Your Decisions

“Anger, hurt, and frustration can take you off track. Stay focused on what’s truly important.”

It’s normal to feel angry or betrayed during a divorce, but acting out of emotion can lead to costly mistakes. For example:

Don’t agree to an unfair settlement just to “get it over with.”
Don’t retaliate against your spouse—it can harm your case and your children.

A strong legal team will help you stay focused on achieving fair outcomes rather than falling into emotional traps.

DO: Prioritize Your Children’s Well-being when Planning Your Divorce

“If you’re a parent, your children are one of the most important considerations during this process.”

Divorcing a controlling spouse can be especially hard on children. To minimize the impact:

Advocate for fair custody arrangements that reflect your children’s needs.

Avoid bad-mouthing your ex in front of your kids.

Work with professionals who understand how to negotiate parenting plans in high-conflict divorces.

Your children’s long-term happiness and stability should remain at the center of all decisions. Read more about divorcing a narcissistic husband and keeping your children healthy here.

DON’T: Go It Alone—Work with an Experienced Attorney

“You need a legal team that can explain the process, help you stay focused, and guide you step-by-step.”

Controlling spouses are often skilled manipulators who know how to exploit the divorce process. Having an experienced attorney on your side can:

Ensure you understand your rights and options.
Protect you from being pressured into unfair agreements.
Keep you on track to achieve a positive outcome.

At Bruce Law, we provide clear guidance and a proven process to help you get through divorce as smoothly as possible.

Conclusion

Divorcing a controlling husband is challenging, but you don’t have to face it alone. By defining your vision, staying focused on what matters, and working with a skilled legal team, you can successfully navigate this process and build a brighter future.

If you’re ready to take the next step, schedule a consultation with Bruce Law today. Let us help you move forward with confidence and clarity.

More resources: Understanding High-Conflict Divorce