Before you divorce a controlling or narcissistic husband you need to gather what you can now in terms of financial records. Get copies of as many financial documents as possible. Start making a current and after divorce budget. You’re going to play the role of an investigator, and this is a little bit empowering when you don’t have access to this information.
Try your best to make a list of the assets and debt that you’re aware of and start trying to get an idea in your head of things that you might want to have after the divorce while being realistic.
Try your best to make a summary of your financials, at least of what you know, because you’re probably not going to know or be able to know everything about your finances when you’re married to a difficult and controlling person. But do your best to gather as much as you can, and try to get three years of records. Before you go see a lawyer or say anything to your husband, gather as much as you can.
We’ve tried to make it easy for you to understand exactly what you need to gather through our law firm’s book, A Women’s Guide to Getting Organized for Divorce.You can get your free download of the book at www.GetOrganizedForDivorce.com, and in the email with the download will be an option to request the book by mail, or pickup at our law firm’s office if you’d rather not have anything go in the mail.
On this note, there’s a value to getting as much information up front as possible, but don’t use the need to get more information or gather more bank statements as an indefinite excuse for not moving forward to fix the fact that you’re married to somebody you need to get away from.
Take the time to gather as much as you can but don’t let it be an excuse for delaying you from moving from a relationship to where you’re constantly put down to a life to where you have the ability to finally be free, respect yourself, and enjoy each and every day.
There is a little bit involved sometimes with getting organized and my firm’s book mentioned above was written specifically for women in your situation who are contemplating divorce .The book covers, in granular detail, how to gather what you need and do so in a secure manner so your husband doesn’t know what’s going on.The book also covers how to analyze the information you gather and how you can go from knowing nothing to being much more educated and aware of the marital finances (even if you don’t consider yourself to be a “numbers person”) and how things might play out in a divorce before you even go talk to a lawyer. It’s a whole book just on these issues.
The website for the book is www.GetOrganizedForDivorce.com. That’ll direct you right to the link for the book I’ve written on this, which is free by the way. All my books are free for you to download from my websites. You can even request my firm to mail them for you. Or we’ll put a package together if you’re afraid of getting mail so you can come pick it up at an office location. Our thought is educated consumers and educated wives will make the right decisions for themselves. And we do that as a service to our community. We want to get the information out there.
In terms of marital information for you, you need to gather what you can, as much as possible. Take the time to do that. It will help you and any lawyer that you hire a great deal and allow the fact that you might have a difficult divorce to be a difficult but shorter divorce. It’s critical.