The Challenge: Protecting Reputation and Custody in a Divorce
A woman from a deeply religious background had spent years in an unhealthy marriage. She homeschooled her children, attended church several times a week, and tried to make her marriage work despite her husband’s serial affairs. Eventually, she realized she couldn’t tolerate the betrayal anymore and decided to file for divorce.
However, before the legal process began, she made one crucial mistake—she started a new relationship before the divorce was filed.
What she didn’t anticipate was how her controlling, narcissistic husband would manipulate the narrative. Despite his own repeated infidelity, he spun the story within their religious community and turned the church and their two teenage daughters against her, making her out to be the cause of the marriage’s downfall.
Instead of being seen as a victim of his repeated affairs, she was portrayed as the one who destroyed the family. The impact of this mistake complicated her child custody battle and made her case for alimony much more difficult.
The Strategy: Navigating Divorce Without Giving the Other Party Leverage
If she had consulted with an attorney before making her new relationship public, she could have avoided much of the fallout.
There are key strategies individuals should consider before filing for divorce, especially when dealing with a manipulative spouse:
Do Not Move On Publicly Before Filing for Divorce – Even if your spouse has been unfaithful, revealing a new relationship too soon can be weaponized against you in court and within your social circles.
Understand the Psychological Tactics of Narcissists – Controlling spouses are experts at spinning the story to make themselves look like the victim. Preparing for this in advance helps prevent damage to custody cases and alimony claims.
Prepare for the Public and Family Reaction – If divorce will impact your religious community or family relationships, consulting with an attorney early can help strategize how to control the narrative.
Seek Legal Advice Before Major Life Changes – Meeting with a divorce attorney before making any public moves allows for a well-thought-out strategy that prevents costly mistakes.
The Outcome: A Hard-Learned Lesson in Divorce Strategy
Had this woman consulted with an attorney earlier, she could have protected herself from being vilified in court, preserved her relationship with her children, and secured a stronger case for alimony.
Instead, her husband’s gaslighting and manipulation led to a difficult custody battle, strained relationships with her daughters, and a challenging legal fight. While she still secured a divorce, the process was far more painful than it needed to be.
Your Next Step: Protect Yourself Before Filing for Divorce
If you are considering divorce, what you do before filing can shape the entire case outcome. A simple mistake can give your spouse the upper hand, making custody battles and financial negotiations far more difficult.
Read More About Divorce Mistakes to Avoid to ensure you don’t make costly errors before filing.
Schedule a Consultation to strategize your divorce early and prevent your spouse from using tactics against you.
